You Still Do These Things In Your Twenties Because You Had Your Heart Broken

When you were younger, you believed in a fairy tale version of love. You honestly thought that the boy you dated was the one, that you were one of the lucky girls who found their match without having to look too long and hard.

He was the first person that you kissed. The first person that saw under your shirt. The first person that held your hand and cuddled you close and made you feel like you were someone worth loving.
You daydreamed about what it would be like to graduate together, attend prom together, and go to college together. You thought about how wonderful it would be to tell your future children the story of how you met. A Cory and Topanga story. A story decades in the making.
Maybe you were just naive back then, but you honestly thought that you were going to spend the rest of your lives together. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind.
But then the breakup happened. When you split up, you felt like your entire world was falling apart. You didn’t know how you were going to survive without his hand to hold. You couldn’t imagine feeling so strongly about anyone else ever again.
And now, even thought it’s been years since you had your heart brutally torn in two, you still feel the effects. You still keep your heart guarded. You are careful about who you let into your life.
You’re terrified of putting yourself out there and getting disappointed again. Besides, no one you meet can ever compare to your first real love.
No one can make you laugh as hard as he could. No one can make you smile as wide as he could. No one has ever made you happier than that boy you used to know.
There are days when you wonder if you already met your soulmate and lost your soulmate. If you made a major mistake. If you had your chance and you blew it.
Even though you were only a teenager when you had your heart broken, you still compare everyone you meet to your ex. You can’t help yourself. It happens naturally, without having to think about it.
Even though you were only a teenager when you had your heart broken, you still act cynical. Since you lost the first person you ever really cared about, you’re under the impression that true love is a lie. That there’s no rom-com out there that matches reality.
Even though you were only a teenager when you had your heart broken, you still take a while to open up to people. You still get scared off when things move too fast. You still walk on eggshells around strangers and keep your eyes open for red flags.
Even though you were only a teenager when you had your heart broken, you still haven’t completely moved on.
Your first love is always the hardest to get over. It’s always the one that keeps you up at night, even years later. 

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