Why don’t all women scream like banshees?

Why don’t all women scream like banshees?
Yes, it’s true. Some women yell, others dub love rubbing with sounds of silence. I know, because I’m a woman, I talk to women, and I watch really educational movies featuring women doing sex that are both accurate portrayals of sex between modern adults and costing me a f-xxx-ing fortune.
But why? Why the difference? Aren’t all women really just the same? Perplexing, isn’t it?
Taking my tongue out of my cheek to help search for an answer
Apparently there is insufficient research to answer definitively, but a few theories abound.
One – women are noisy during sex because they feel it will heighten male sexual arousal. But don’t go thinking this is a sign sound-sharers are Herbenick writes these hussies could simply be hurrying-up their love-honey’s ejaculatory explosion, so ending sex and saving time (time better spent watching Desperate Housewives most likely).
Two – women are noisy during sex because they can’t help it. Screams, sighs, moans, gurgles – they can just sort of come out. Well, we all know all manner of stuff just sort of comes out during sex – from liquids to “I Love You” – and nothing much should be made of it unless you have reason to suspect;
Three – women are noisy during sex because they are faking an orgasm. It hurts my heart to write that (faking hurts the faker most!), but believing so much is hardly hard…
What’s interesting is that ‘noise’ translates to ‘good’, whether as a sign of release, or awareness of pleasure, real, hurried or otherwise. How did that come to be?
Found noisy females across a variety of species.
Dubbed ‘copulation calling’, the vocalisations occurred just before, during or immediately after mating, and contained audio information that incited enough male passion to provoke sperm competition.
What kind of information you ask? Well, female baboons transmitted fertility data, and an indication about the status of the male they were shagging. Which is interesting, if you apply it to humans, and slightly disturbing if you’re of the school that thinks most modern women only make sounds because porn stars do.
I, for one, am not of that school. Sure, some women might mimic movies, but others will not – point is, it’s individual.
Personally, I enjoy expressing pleasure – be it simpers of delight over a delicious meal or whooping over joyful sex – and I like it best when my partner chimes in. This has landed me in hot water before (yes, I got a letter from a neighbour this one time…), so I recognise how important it is to be considerate.
Then again, I also know how thrilling enforced muteness can be…
How about you?

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