Despite what you might think, your story isn’t that different to most guys.
Your fragile confidence took a beating when you were turned down in the 6th grade.
Having to turn up to the 8th grade dance without a partner sucked even harder. ESPECIALLY when Sarah, the smiley blonde from your Wednesday afternoon math class told you “I’m just going to go alone” and ended up going with Chris, the football team captain.
Then, after being accompanied to the year 10 formal by the chess club captain and his attentive vice-president because every girl you asked replied with “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”, you turned to the world for advice.
“Just be yourself…” and “Just be confident!”, got you nowhere.
The wise words (“Just be cool. Do fun stuff and make fun of them”) of the natural from your year 12 Physical Education class were as useless as everything else you were hearing.
Men’s Health gave you 8 great pointers on developing the kind of 6-pack that drives girls wild and GQ’s style guide told you the 11 hottest pairs of shoes for the summer…
Googling ‘How to attract women’ just landed you a bunch of shitty, quick-fix, poorly thoughout guides that gave you the same, banal, well presented yet completely ineffective advice that could have come out of the pages of Cosmo for Men.
2 months on a pickup forum only made you realise how the guys who know the most theory were also the guys who got the least results.
And now, after 6 months of searching, trying and failing, you’re still basically in the same spot.
You can quote the 8 most important body language traits of an Alpha Male and know the evolutionary foundation of attraction, yet you still go home at night, empty handed and alone, wondering what’s missing from this puzzle.
How do I know this? Because this is my story. And the story of the guy who read this before you. And probably the one after as well.
Maybe it wasn’t 8th grade dance but every guy who’ll read this has a ‘Sarah’ in his past.
Maybe it wasn’t your year 10 formal but every guy has ended up in the friend zone more than once.
It’s the well worn path that your average, confused, dateless wonder walks down that commonly ends up with him trawling through the internet at 2am on a Saturday night after another unsuccessful adventure, that started with so much promise, and ended with a silent whimper as the bar tender called “Last drinks” and the security guard politely asked you to move on.
So now, as the afternoon sun creeps slowly behind the horizon on another wasted day filled with missed opportunities and empty promises to yourself about how ‘Tomorrow will be different!”, you’ve come here for the answer.
And not for a surface level, well intentioned, exciting but ultimately flawed and quite impractical set of tips to get you stuck further inside your head with all the rules you’re trying to remember to follow when you really just want to tell the beautiful girl in front of you how much you want to kiss her.
You’re here for a real, practical solution that will allow you be yourself, be real, be honest, genuine, and authentic AND attract naturally beautiful women.
Great, because that’s what you’re about to read.
But before I give you the solution, we need to start with the basics. Why?
Because you’ll never find a solution until you know what the real problem is.
You’ll never work out exactly what you need to change to start attracting confident, beautiful, in-demand women until you work out what’s pushing them away.
You can keep putting more and more gas into your car, but if the reason it won’t start is because you haven’t put the keys in the ignition, it’s never going to get you anywhere.
So lets start here: The start. Why aren’t women attracted to you?
You might be tempted to recite any number of different responses here: lack of knowledge about attraction, not tall enough, anxiety, wrong ethnicity (shout out to all my Asian brothers), too poor, running out of things to say, bad body language, or any other personality characteristics you read about in BuzzFeeds 16 personal traits that will repel women.
Whilst all of these might sound great in theory, they’re all actually wrong.
Not because your body language and having interesting things to talk about isn’t important, but because all of these problems are symptoms of the real reason you still suck with women.
– Your problem isn’t your lack of knowledge about Alpha body language. Alpha guys don’t spend hours in front of the computer trying to remember how to stand, sit, and walk so they can impress women.
– Your problem isn’t that you run out of things to say. When a woman’s attracted tyouo , she’ll actively work to keep the conversation going, even when you stall.
– Your problem isn’t that you have anxiety. The guys who end up going home with the women that you spend the night watching from the other side of the bar, aren’t the ones who don’t get anxiety. They simply don’t let the anxiety stop them from doing what they want.
– Your problem isn’t that you don’t know the ‘right’ things to talk about. The problem is that you think there’s a ‘right’ thing to talk about that’s going to make up for the fact that women aren’t attracted to you.
All these traits and characteristics that you’ve read about in countless dating books aren’t actually the real problem.
This is why buying new shoes, standing up taller, and remembering things to talk about isn’t getting you laid like a rockstar.
You’ve been doing the dating equivalent of doing lots of star jumps to fix the fact that you’re morbidly obese from all the junk food you eat.
You’ve been taking Panadol to deal with the fact you’ve been shot.
Not smart. Remember what I said before? If you don’t find the right problem, you’ll never find a real solution.
So what’s the real problem?
The REAL reason that you still suck with women is that you’re Dependent.
Plain and simple.
It’s got nothing to do with your lack of knowledge about the deep psychological workings of the feminine attraction mechanism (FAM), the size of your bank balance, the country of origin of your parents, or the brand of sneaker you wore to the bar.
It’s simply Dependence.
You’re either Dependent on other people to tell you how to live your life, to give you permission to live the life you want, to feel connected, in-control, important, and significant, or a combination of all three.
You wait for the world to tell you what to do and where to go, to laugh at your jokes, to applaud you when you succeed, and when it doesn’t, you feel alone, powerless, and insignificant.
That’s it. That’s all.
It’s got nothing to do with your knowledge of celebrity gossip or the cut of the shirt you’re wearing.
It’s all because of the thoughts and mechanisms that are running through your head.
Your Dependence is the cause of every problem you face with women and most problems you’ll face in the rest of your life.
Think about it like this:
If you crave acceptance from the people who pass you by, every day, how willing will you be to put yourself out there and risk possible rejection from a beautiful woman?
If you care more about what other people think about you than what you think about you, how willing are you going to be to step outside your box and do things that society frowns upon, like approaching and expressing your sexual desire?
If you spend 6 years at college studying a subject you have no interest in because you think it’s going to make you enough money to impress your friends, how fulfilling is your life going to be? How playful, fun, and engaging are you going to be when talking about your work?
If you stand around waiting for the world to give you permission to finally do what you want, then how exciting is your life going to be? How many great stories are you going to have and how much passion are you going to tell them with?
If your sense of self-worth is determined by how people respond to you, how confident, strong, and powerful are you going to feel when trying to start a conversation with someone you’ve never met before and when you don’t know how they’re going to respond?
And how ‘Alpha’ is your body language going to be?
The reason you still suck with women, despite the amount of information you’ve learned, the conversations you’ve had, and the amount of times you’ve failed, is because you’ve been trying to treat the wrong problem.
Your problem is Dependence and your success with women isn’t going to improve until you deal with this.
– You have to work out what kind of life you really want to create so you can experience the self-assuredness that only comes from knowing yourself on your deepest level.
– You have to take responsibility for what’s happened in your past so you can start building the future you want without anything holding you back.
– You have to take responsibility for your emotional responses so that your no longer a slave to how other people respond to you.
– You have to take conscious control of feeling powerful, connected, free, and fulfilled so that you can stop needing other people treat you ‘right’.
Because when you do that, everything changes.
– When you stop letting fear rule your life and decide to take control, approaching becomes an exciting adventure.
– When you start to give yourself the acceptance you’ve been craving from everyone around you, rejection doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
– When you develop your own vision of what you believe is right and wrong, you stop needing to consult handbooks and to work out what you need to do next.
– When you start doing what you want, rather than what you’ve been told to do, your life becomes rewarding and fulfilling.
– When you start to lean over your edge, rather than hiding safely behind it, your life becomes exciting and you talk about it with passion and energy.
And all of this is called Independence.
Independence is the state where stop depending on the world around you for your vision of life, for permission to take action, for being strong, confident, and in control and feeling significant and worthy.
It’s where you drop the games and stop relying on other people to give you what you’re looking for out of life and actually just start creating it.
It’s where you stop being at deficit in the world and start being a creator.
This is where all those little problems that you’ve being trying to fix all just seem to disappear without you even trying.
Why? Because you’ve fixed the core problem that created them, rather than just trying to stick layer after ever more complicated layer of games over the top of them.
So the obvious question is: How?
How do you end Dependence and start being Independent?
How to you deal with the real reason that you still suck with women?
To answer that, you need to know a little more about Dependence.
– You need to know the 5 elements of Dependence.
– You need to know how they relate to each other.
– You need to know how to diagnose which one is your biggest problem.
– You need to know the individual steps required for to deal with each step.
– And you need to know how to apply them.