If I could go commando every day, I would.
Unfortunately for me, skirts and leather pants sometimes don’t mix with a bare naked cooh. Neither do subway seats, so I stick to going commando three to four times a week.
I don’t know whether it’s something in the air, or if I’ve just been really feeling myself lately, but I’ve been more and more open to letting my naked flag fly. I went topless in front of 30 thousand people at Okeechobee Music & Arts Festival in Florida a few weekends ago, and have been regularly ditching my thong in the past few weeks.
Basically, I’m trying to get as close as I can to being totally naked on the reg. There are benefits to letting your panties fly free.
For my more modest ladies who need a bit of persuading, here’s an insanely complete list of reasons why this is just for you.
1. When you just wore your last clean pair of underwear and don’t feel like doing laundry.
Your laundry room is located in the creepy, dimly-lit basement of your building, so there is literally no reason to ever wash your underwear. Go free instead!
Or, buy new underwear. But going underwear-free is cheaper.
2. When there’s no way anyone will find out.
What your co-workers don’t know about your panty-free life can’t hurt them.
3. Or, when there’s a chance everyone might find out.
No risk, no reward!
4. When you’re tired of underwear, post-period.
You’ve been wearing stained granny panties for the past five days. Time to remember your vagina is used for things that don’t involve blood.
5. When you feel sexy.
Knowing you’re walking around with a dirty little secret will make you feel even more irresistible.
6. When you feel unsexy.
Nothing will make you feel sexier than knowing there’s only one layer of denim stopping you from jumping the bones of that cute guy in accounting.
7. When you’re going to the gym.
Many shorts have built-in trunks, so there’s no point in adding yet another layer. If you’re wearing leggings, just be sure to wash them after each workout.
8. When you know your underwear will be coming right off anyway.
In my experience, guys give no f*cks about what kind or color my underwear is. They just want it off.
Skip the awkward extra step and get straight to business.
9. When you’re trying to fit into tight pants.
Just ditch the extra layer and go buff, because a layered waistband down there won’t do you any favors.
10. When you’re feeling frisky.
There’s nothing worse than being horny at work — like, what am I supposed to do, play with myself in the gross bathroom stall while someone is peeing next to me? I’m good, thanks.
Step one, go commando. Step two, wear a pair of jeans. Step three, re-adjust your position so you’re sitting directly over the seam. You’re welcome.
11. When you’re wearing a form-fitting dress.
No matter how seamless your thong is, it can never stand up to the true test of a bodycon dress.
Do yourself a favor and go buff. Your panty line-free heinie will thank you.
12. When you’re wearing a bathing suit.
Isn’t that uncomfortable? Why do people do this? Just throw on your bikini bottoms and live your life.
13. When you’re wearing a wedding dress.
It’s hassle enough to navigate all those layers of lace and tulle when you need to pee mid-reception. Ditch the underwear, no one will ever know.
Plus, your bae-to-be will be all about it.
14. When you’re sleeping.
It’s so freeing! And, if your sheets are clean, it’s good to let your vagina breathe.
Liberate yourself from panty lines and unnecessary bulk, ladies! If you’re going to FreeTheNipple, be sure to let your vag join in on the party, too.